Crystal Frost 4 Page 9

  He spoke into my hair. “I’m so sorry, Crystal.”

  “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have left like that.”

  “No, it was my fault.”

  I drew away from him. “No. It was me. I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you.”

  “Really, it was my fault. I wasn’t honest with you.”

  I tilted my head in confusion.

  He gestured to a set of chairs nearby. The only other person around was a student desk attendant, but he had earbuds in his ears and was listening to music while his eyes focused on a textbook.

  I sat in the chair and fixed my eyes on Robin. “What are you talking about?”

  He took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “I lied to you about why I don’t want our relationship to get physical.”

  I narrowed my eyes in thought. Where could he possibly be going with this? “I thought it was because of your leg.”

  He shook his head. “Not with you, Crystal. I’m not self-conscious about that with you. The thing is . . .” He shifted in his seat. “I want to show you how much I love you, too. I just . . . I don’t want to risk it.”

  I blinked a few times, still confused. “Risk what?”

  Robin pressed his lips together like it was almost painful to say. “Crystal, I don’t want to get you pregnant.”

  I let out a laugh that was almost too loud for my own liking. “Robin, didn’t you have health class in high school? There’s such thing as protection.”

  An unidentified emotion flickered across his face. Pain, perhaps? “That doesn’t always work,” he pointed out.

  “Well, it’s pretty effective.”

  He shook his head. “Not enough.” That emotion flashed across his face for a second time, and then something clicked in my mind.

  “Robin.” I held my gaze on his. “This isn’t about us, is it? It’s about something bigger. Did something happen to you?”

  He pulled away from me abruptly. “What? No. Not—not me. I’m like you. I haven’t . . . But there is a reason.”

  I sat silently, waiting for him to explain.

  “I never told you about what really happened with my leg.”

  “It was a car accident.” At least, that’s what he’d told me.

  He nodded. “It was. But my leg wasn’t all that was lost that day.” He paused like he couldn’t finish, but finally, he spoke. “Crystal, I killed someone that day.”

  Chapter 16

  My chest compressed. I shot up from my seat and paced a few steps away from him before turning back. “No,” I said sternly. “I distinctly remember you saying, ‘All I lost was a leg,’ because I remember how silly it sounded.”

  His gaze fell shamefully. “I lied. I didn’t want to talk about it.”

  I still didn’t understand where this was going. What had really happened in that accident? I knelt down beside him, forcing his gaze to mine. “Robin, tell me.”

  He took a deep breath, stretching out the moment of silence. It fell so quiet in the room that I could hear the muffled music coming from the desk attendant’s earbuds. I let Robin take his time, and neither of us spoke for nearly a minute.

  Once he worked up the courage to open up to me, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “My best friend at the time had gotten pregnant at 16. Her name was Vanessa. They had used protection, but as soon as her boyfriend found out, he left her to raise the baby on her own. Her parents weren’t much help, either. I was there for her through it all. I drove her to ultrasound appointments and let her cry on my shoulder when she needed to. I bought her chocolate every time she asked. I was the first one to feel the baby kick. It was a boy. She named him Jackson.”

  An ache opened in my chest when he talked about Vanessa, and I knew why he never told me about her. “You loved her,” I stated. There was no question about it.

  He nodded, and tears glistened in his eyes. “I thought I could take care of her, you know?” His breath caught in his throat. “She found this lady online who was selling tons of baby clothes for really cheap, and she needed a ride. The baby was due in a couple of weeks, and she didn’t have much for him. I agreed to take her. Well, on the way to this lady’s house, Vanessa went into labor right there on the highway. I freaked out and didn’t know what to do. She was telling me how much it hurt, and I was trying to console her, and I just stopped watching where I was going. I drifted into oncoming traffic and . . .” A sob broke in his chest.

  “She died?”

  Robin shook his head somberly. “No, but Jackson did.”

  It took a few seconds for me to absorb all of this. I blinked several times to keep the tears at bay. “Robin. I. Am. So. Sorry.”

  He went silent for several long moments before speaking again. “She blamed me. I just—I don’t want there to be a chance that I’d lose someone like that again.”

  “Robin, that would never happen to us.” Except he was going to lose me. I still couldn’t tell him, especially when he was sobbing like he was.

  “Now you know all my secrets,” he whispered so quietly that I barely heard him. “You know why I’ve always been so guarded.”

  I’d always thought it was because of his leg, but now I knew better. I hugged him as hard as I could and told him for one of the last times that I loved him.

  I returned home that night determined to find a way around my father’s prophecy. I couldn’t leave Robin.

  “Mom?” I asked in a small voice. I leaned against the door frame of the master bath, where she was brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. Teddy was in the kitchen washing the dishes after our late supper.

  “Yeah?” She spoke as soon as she spit her toothpaste into the sink.

  “Can I ask you something about our abilities?”

  She turned the faucet on and leaned down to the sink to spit again. “Anything, sweetheart.”

  “Okay, so you can see the future. Have your visions ever been wrong?”

  She wiped a towel across her lips. “Well, sure. Remember the time I told you about how Teddy and I met?”

  Some of the tension I’d been holding in my shoulders over the past few days eased. I should have thought of that story on my own. If my mother was able to save Teddy from his death, and I saved Sage, that meant I could save myself, right?

  “Have you seen something?” she asked, suddenly concerned.

  I shook my head in honesty. I didn’t see anything. “No. It’s just something I was wondering about.” I paused for a moment. “Have you ever not been able to save someone?”

  She stared into the mirror while brushing her hair. “Crystal, are you sure there’s nothing going on?”

  I stiffened, but she didn’t notice. “No. I swear. So, you’ve always been able to use your gift to help people?”

  “Oh, my god!” My mother’s left hand flew to her stomach, and her right hand holding the hairbrush fell to her side. Her eyes lit up when she looked back at me in the doorway. “I think the baby just kicked!”

  “What?” I shouted in excitement. I stood up straighter and immediately closed the distance between us. “Let me feel.” I pressed my hand against the soft plush of her robe and waited for movement, but it never came.

  “Sorry, sweetie,” she apologized. “It’s still pretty early, so you may not be able to feel it.” She pushed out of the bathroom and shut the light off on her way. My mother let out a long yawn before crawling into bed. “Sleep well, sweetheart. Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight, Mom,” I told her before escaping to my own bathroom to get ready for bed. Only when I lay down that night did I realize she’d never actually answered my question.

  “Want to go out for lunch again?” I asked Derek at his locker on Wednesday before he could make it to the lunch line. I needed some time alone with him to say goodbye.

  He turned to me with a hard expression on his face like he was angry about something. “I don’t know. I guess. Can we stop for chocolates again?” I could sense the tension in his voice.

&n
bsp; “That’s not a problem. Are you okay, though?”

  We fell into step side by side.

  “I’m fine,” he said, but I didn’t believe him. Something was definitely up, something much bigger than Emma’s joke about kids and his choice of colleges.

  We broke out into the autumn sun, and I stopped him. “Derek, you have to tell me what’s up. I can help you.”

  He clenched his jaw as he stared at me. His blue eyes seemed a darker shade than normal. “Believe me. You can’t help me with this.”

  He began walking briskly, and I hurried to catch up with him. “You don’t know that. You can at least tell me.” If it wasn’t about Emma, and it wasn’t about colleges, what could it be? Was it the séance? Had we freaked him out that badly that he was forever changed by it?

  “Derek,” I begged. “I’m your best friend. You know you can tell me anything.”

  He stopped in his tracks and faced me, his expression stone cold. “It’s beyond frustrating, alright?”

  “What is? Derek, please tell me. I want to help.” Tears began to well in my eyes. I was supposed to be enjoying my time with him before saying goodbye, but I couldn’t do that when he was suffering and I didn’t know how to help.

  “It’s not something you could possibly understand.”

  “I understand a lot, Derek.”

  “Not this.” He began walking again.

  For each step he took, I had to take two to keep up with him. I racked my brain wondering what this could possibly be about. Something was definitely going on at home, but what? His parents were awesome, and so were his twin sisters.

  “Derek,” I tried one last time.

  “God, just stop it, okay? You’re getting to be as annoying as your friend Emma.” He didn’t slow his step.

  “She used to be a friend to both of us,” I pointed out, becoming increasingly angry at the way he was keeping secrets. “I just want to help.”

  “Don’t worry. Soon, this will all be over.”

  When we reached the gas station, I slipped into the women’s restroom for a couple of minutes to clear my mind. My face burned in anger, and my headache was flaring up again in response to my stress level. Derek needed help right now, and prodding him for his secret wasn’t going to do any good. Being upset at him wasn’t going to help anything, either. I took several long deep breaths to calm myself. If Derek doesn’t want to open up to me, he has that right, I told myself. What I needed right now was to simply enjoy what little time I had left with him, even if he wasn’t acting like himself lately.

  When I exited the rest room, I was feeling better. I grabbed a sandwich and paid for our lunch.

  “Derek, I’m sorry,” I tried one last time, but he didn’t say anything back. We walked in silence and munched on our sandwiches on our way to Divination. It was probably better that way.

  When we arrived, my mom was sitting behind the counter flipping through a catalog.

  “Slow day?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “It’s lunch time. Everyone’s out eating.”

  “And Sophie and Diane?”

  “They’re in the break room having lunch, too.”

  “Okay. We just came for some chocolates.”

  My mother smiled. “Well, I can help with that. How are you, Derek?”

  He just shrugged, but that darkness in his eyes returned as he stared at my mother.

  “Well,” she said awkwardly. “You both like the truffles. Is that what you want today?”

  “Sounds good,” I agreed.

  Derek turned up his nose. “I’ll have peanut butter.”

  Jeez, he was really being cranky today. I wish I knew what his problem was. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeves over my hands and gripped onto the ends in my fists. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was getting more annoyed at Derek or because I suddenly felt chilly.

  My mother bent to the glass case where they displayed their small selection of chocolates. She placed three small truffles into a bag for me and three peanut butter truffles into a bag for Derek before standing and shutting the display case window behind her. In the few steps it took her to walk from the chocolates to the cash register, she somehow managed to trip. I watched in what felt like slow motion as her arms flailed and a terrified expression crossed her face. The bags of chocolates flew out of her hands, and then she was gone behind the counter.

  “Mom!” I exclaimed, immediately rushing to the other side to help her up.

  “I’m fine,” she insisted from where she lay on the ground, but I could already see the bruise forming on the bottom of her chin where she’d clipped it against the stool they kept behind the counter.

  “Mom.” I reached out my hands for support and quickly glanced at Derek as if hoping he could help as well.

  He stared at my mother, his jaw still clenched. He wasn’t even trying to rescue the chocolates that had escaped. I was about ready to snap at him for his terrible behavior, but I refrained. Instead, I turned back to my mother, who’d made her way to a standing position.

  “You have to be more careful,” I warned. “You’ve been really clumsy lately.”

  She sighed. “I know. It was just this dumb rug. It caught my foot.” She kicked at it to settle it back into place before brushing her blond bangs out of her eyes.

  I didn’t take my gaze off her as I made my way back to the other side of the counter. What was wrong with her? Had the pregnancy been affecting her, maybe making her dizzy?

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked again, handing her the few chocolates I’d picked up from the ground.

  She touched her bruise and winced. “I swear one of these days I’m going to throw this rug in the dumpster.”

  “That’d be too easy,” I teased. “You need to hang it outside with a sign that says, ‘This rug tried to kill me.’”

  My mother laughed. “Are you telling me to publically shame my rug?”

  I smiled playfully. “It’s the only way to make it pay for the bruise on your chin.”

  Her laughter grew. “I’ll think about that one. Sorry about your chocolates. I’ll get you some new ones.”

  Several minutes later, Derek and I were on our way back to school with our chocolates in hand. He didn’t say anything the whole way back, but he again increased his pace like he was frustrated about something. I didn’t try to push it because I knew he wouldn’t tell me anything anyway. His silence brought my mood down as we walked. I slumped to my locker disappointedly because I wasn’t able to give Derek a proper goodbye, and I wasn’t sure I ever would.

  “You okay?” Emma asked at our lockers.

  I bent to my textbooks and let my hair conceal my face. “I’m fine,” I tried confidently in an attempt to convince more than just her. Even though she bought it, I couldn’t bring myself to believe I was okay, not when I knew that nothing about my life had been “fine” in the past month.

  Chapter 17

  That night, I eagerly waited for my mother to arrive home from work. I lay on the couch and poked at my phone in anticipation of the sound of her car, but I wasn’t really processing anything I saw or read on the screen. Instead, I was consumed with thoughts about my death. What was going to happen? And could I prevent it? At least with Sage, I had a timeline to work with. I had known when she was going to die. This time, I had nothing. All I knew was that I had to die to save the three people I loved most.

  My mother arrived home late, but I needed to finally say goodbye to her the way I had with the rest of my friends. I didn’t know when my death would come, but I needed one more night with her and Teddy.

  “Mm,” my mother said when she walked in the door. “It smells good. What’s on the menu tonight?”

  I sat up on the couch. “Teddy made chicken noodle soup. It was really good.”

  “Well, it certainly smells good.”

  I followed her to the kitchen. “Are you okay?”

  She dropped her purse on the counter and turned to me. “Of course I’m okay.”
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br />   My gaze locked on the bruise on her chin. “What about your fall? Doesn’t it hurt?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing.”

  “Mom,” I said sternly. “Stop brushing this stuff off. Is it the baby? What if something’s wrong with my little sister?”

  “No, sweetheart.” She reached in the cupboard for a bowl. “What would make you say that?”

  “Things keep happening to you, and I’m concerned. You’ve been so clumsy lately.” I didn’t want to leave her if something was wrong.

  “I’m fine, really.” She opened the lid on the pot that was still warm on the stove and scooped some soup into her bowl. “So, have you decided on a costume for the festival yet?”

  I knew she was only trying to change the subject, but I figured it best to enjoy what little time I had left with her instead of fighting about whether she was okay or not.

  “I don’t know yet,” I told her. I wasn’t even sure if I’d make it until Saturday. “Mom, can we . . .” I trailed off because I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence. I wanted to do something with her, to make my time with her count, but I didn’t know what to do.

  She leaned against the counter and took a spoonful of soup. “Can we, what?” she asked once she swallowed.

  I relaxed. “Can we make brownies?”

  She smiled back at me.

  Teddy joined us after my mom finished her soup, and he guided us through the recipe for homemade brownies. They weren’t the kind my mom always made from a box. We had to use cocoa powder and flour and everything. We chatted and laughed, and thanks to Teddy’s skill, the brownies came out without crusty edges like my mom normally made them.

  All the fun I had with them nearly made me forget about how little time I had left. At least, I could only assume I didn’t have much time left. Otherwise, why would the warning have come now? I contemplated this as I lay in bed that night. If I made it until Saturday, I’d have at least one more night to say goodbye to everyone since they’d all be at the festival.

  And that’s when it hit me. Everyone would be there, everyone I loved. It was supposed to happen then. My heart sank, and though I’d been full on brownies just moments ago, an empty feeling opened up in the pit of my stomach. On Saturday night, I was going to die.